Lyrics - I'm Scared of Clowns

This was nearly nominated for a Grammy in 1999 but was two votes shy. Derik swears that the academy is full of clowns and they took offense to the lyrics. Here is a parody of ELO's Don't Let Me Down from the Okra Pods 1998 album entitled "Rhymes with Slime".

I’m Scared of Clowns
©2009 David Jones and The Okra Pods

You got me runnin’ frightened out of my mind,
You got me freakin’ at the site of a mime.
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see one once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

Was watching Bozo with my childhood friends.
Got so afraid I started to poop my threads.
I’m telling you it was pouring out of my end.
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see you once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

I’m scared of Clowns. Wuss!
I’m scared of Clowns. Wuss!
I’m scared of Clowns. Wuss!
I’m scared of Clowns.

They’re making animals from balloons, you know.
All filled with gas that is about to explode!
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see you once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

Ronald Mcdonald is such a crazy sight.
I’m thinking Arbys when I need a bite.
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see you once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

I’m scared of Clowns, gross
I’m scared of Clowns, gross
I’m scared of Clowns, gross
I’m scared of Clowns.

They’re really rude and like to hide in tall grass.
They’ll jump out and get you when you walk past.
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see you once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

Pies are a’baking in their kitchens today
They’re filled with bombs that will blow you away.
I’m scared of Clowns, Oh no no no no no,
If I see you once more I bet I’ll pee on the floor.
I’m scared of Clowns.

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Lyrics - Twitchy Woman

Here is a parody entitled "Twitchy Woman" from the Eagles tribute "Make It Greasy". Dave says he wrote it about an old ex-girlfriend who had a really bad nervous twitch any time she ate beans... which proved to be a bit of a problem.

Twitchy Woman
(C) 2010 David Jones and the Okra Pods

People stare as Rhonda trips...
Straws are barred when she sips.
Eyepatched socket shades her site.
She's a nervous seamstress with an aweful plight.

Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
See her eat this pie.
Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
She jabbed a spoon in her eye.

She has a boyfriend, his name is Mike.
He wears goggles to protect his sight.
She grazed his retina with the kitchen broom,
As she shoved it accidentally when she swept the room.

Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
See her kiss her guy.
Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
She jabbed her tongue in his eye.

Well Rhonda once blew her cover,
Her pants were her brother's.
She didn't know she had to tie the threads.
And when she tried to run around,
Her sweatpants hit the ground.
Her can rocked and twitched at the wrong time,
And her face turned red.

Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
How did her pants come untied?
Woo hoo, twitchy woman...
She showed her moon to the sky!

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Lyrics - I Wear Depends

Here is my favorite track from the Okra Pods' tribute to Eric Clapton,"Cream of Okra".
This is a parody of Eric Clapton's "Hello Old Friend". Derik plays a mean slide guitar on this track!

I WEAR DEPENDS
©2009 David Jones and The Okra Pods

As I was running from the law one day,
I thought I made a clean getaway.
Without the right key my time looked quite bleak,
My hands were cuffed and I had to take a leak.

I wear Depends,
The Police dogs quickly snagged my scent.
I wear Depends
The chili from yesterday gave the hint.

For eighteen years I sat inside a cell,
Upon release I ran to Taco Bell.
I ate so much I made my belly sore.
So I filled my drawers and then I ate some more.

I wear Depends,
I really hope your standing's not down-wind.
I wear Depends,
The smell of me surely would offend.

My uncle Jed, he was a millionaire.
He died and left his castle to my care.
I'd get all his money if I stayed the night.
There were ghosts, I damn near died of fright.

I wear Depends,
It's really good to have some on the shelf.
I wear Depends,
They're handy when you're scared and poop yourself.

I wear Depends,
Swimming in them is not very cool.
I wear Depends,
They'll suck up half the water from the pool.

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